Feeling overwhelmed by someone's problem gambling? Find out what
you can do to help yourself.
Many people find it difficult to understand why people cannot
just stop gambling. It is normal to feel upset or angry about
someone else's gambling. People often ask, 'how can I make
them stop?' or 'what can I do to make them see it is a
problem?'
It is not your responsibility
It may feel natural to want to take responsibility for someone
else's gambling. However, choosing to change gambling behaviour is
ultimately the responsibility of the person who gambles.
When someone chooses to continue to gamble, it can lead to
others feeling upset and hurt. Focusing on caring for yourself and
working through your feelings can decrease the impact of someone's
gambling on you.
Self care
While it may seem natural to want to help the person that
gambles, this can lead to increased stress and pressure. It is
important to look after yourself, because feeling tired and run
down as a result of trying to help is not helpful to you or the
person that gambles in the long run.
Having some time out may enable you to cope better in difficult
circumstances. To find out what you can do to help yourself speak
to an online gambling
counsellor.
Seek support
It can be very difficult to cope on your own when a person close
to you has a gambling problem.
Talk to someone you trust, such as a close family member,
friends or a counsellor who you know will not judge you or the
person that gambles. Talking about what you are going through can
be really helpful in alleviating stress.
Talking to other people can also provide useful advice and a
different perspective on the situation.
Planning
Know your limits by thinking about what you are willing to
accept and what is unacceptable.
Determine the level of involvement you are prepared to commit
to, and then discuss this with the person that gambles.
Discuss and negotiate a plan by determining what each of you is
willing to do. It may be helpful to speak to a professional
gambling counsellor, another family member or a friend for
assistance in making decisions or to develop a plan.
Taking steps to protect to you and your family
In most cases, people who have a gambling problem have
difficulty dealing with money. There are measures you can take to
protect yourself and those around you, including:
- Take control of finances for the immediate future
- Limit access to cash for the person who gambles
- Organise direct debit for bills, mortgages and other regular
payments
- Create a realistic budget and keep good records of all
financial transactions
- Keep a check on the mail
- Avoid inheriting the gambler's debt. Remove your name
from joint accounts
- Do not sign anything you don't understand or are not prepared
to pay for
- Do not lend eftpos or credit cards, share pin numbers or leave
that information where it can be easily accessed
Next steps
You have the right to feel secure and to protect yourself and
your family from the consequences of someone else's gambling
By helping yourself and your family you can take control of your
life and be in a better position to help the person who
gambles: