Is gambling affecting your relationships?
Gambling can have many consequences on people’s lives, including their relationships with their family members and friends. When these people find out about someone’s gambling or the extent of that gambling, they may have feelings of betrayal, loss of trust, anger, confusion or fear. People often tell us the more gambling affected their lives, the more their relationships suffered.
If this is the case for you, it’s important to know that you can do something about it. You can take steps to repair the relationships that have been impacted by your gambling. The process of rebuilding relationships can be an important part of your recovery. Although it may take some time and effort, it’s possible to get your relationships back on track if you’re willing to try.
Are you having relationship difficulties because of your family member or friend’s gambling?
Gambling can place a lot of strain on relationships and on the everyday functioning of families, even when someone has started to regain control of their gambling. Changes in trust, financial stress and damage to your relationship are some of the most common impacts of gambling harm on family members and friends.
It can feel like gambling is taking up a lot of their time and energy. You might notice yourself feeling frustrated or under pressure because of the financial impact their gambling has had. Realising that someone you care about is gambling too much can bring up a mix of emotions, and it’s common to feel hurt, betrayed, scared, confused or even angry.
But it’s important to know that relationships can be repaired over time. Rebuilding connection and trust is often an important part of recovery for both of you.
Is your family member or friend’s gambling affecting your relationship with them?
The gambling of your family member or friend may have had a negative impact on their relationships with you or other family members or friends. Discovering that someone you care about gambles too much can be a difficult and emotional experience and it’s common to feel hurt betrayed, angry, confused, or scared.
If your family member or friend has relationships that have been impacted by their gambling, let them know that they can take steps to repair the damage that’s been done. The process of rebuilding their relationships can be an important part of their recovery. Although it may take some time and effort, it’s possible to get their relationships back on track if they’re willing to try.
If your family member or friend is trying to make things right with other family members or friends, you can help them. But if it's your relationship with them that has been affected by their gambling, there are things you can do to improve your relationship. Consider reaching out to Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 to have a talk about what's going on, or chat to one of our counsellors.
Is gambling affecting someone’s relationships?
As a professional working with someone who has an issue with their gambling, it’s important to recognise that their gambling may have had a negative impact on their relationships with their family member or friends. When these people find out about someone’s gambling or the extent of that gambling, they may have feelings of betrayal, loss of trust, anger, confusion or fear.
If the person you’re working with has relationships that have been impacted by their gambling, inform them that they can take steps to repair the damage that’s been done. The process of rebuilding trust and repaired damaged connections can be an important part of their recovery. Although it may take some time and effort, it’s possible to get their relationships back on track if they’re willing to try. In your professional role, you can offer support and resources for the person you’re working with, as they work to repair the damage done by their gambling and move forward with healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
How can people rebuild relationships impacted by gambling?
People experiencing problems in their relationships because of their gambling can rebuild these relationships by setting specific goals and realistic timelines. Here are some steps that can help.
When someone is trying to repair a relationship, it's a good idea for them to reach out first. This can be hard, but it lets their family members and friends know that they really want to work on the relationship and are ready to put in the effort.
If someone wants to mend their relationships, admitting their mistakes, genuinely apologising, and taking responsibility for their actions can go a long way towards rebuilding trust and improving their relationships.
Gambling can be very stressful for the people affected by it. It can be hard for partners and other family members to know if someone is actively managing their gambling. Therefore, it's important to demonstrate trust and honesty when it comes to money. Full disclosure and transparency about finances are essential. Some people may develop a joint financial plan and stick to it together. Others may also make sure that both partners have access to their shared bank accounts so they can keep track of what’s happening.
Trust is very important in any relationship, but it can be difficult to build and easy to break. To rebuild trust, communication, commitment, and honesty are important. Trust can be rebuilt over time by talking openly and honestly with each other, sticking to promises and working towards the same goals.
Having strong relationships with others and being able to share our emotions, successes, setbacks and dreams can make us feel happier and more fulfilled in life. It can also help us stay focused on our goals. Spending quality time with family and friends and being involved in their lives is important. Taking an interest in the things they enjoy doing, offering support and encouragement, and being both physically and emotionally present can show a willingness to rebuild the relationship.
Carrying guilt about their gambling can make it difficult for people to build positive and healthy relationships. Although they can't change their past actions, they can control their future actions. It's important for them to focus on making positive changes and being present in the moment, rather than dwelling on their past mistakes.
It’s not helpful for either party to hold onto past mistakes for too long. It can be useful for people to agree that, after a certain amount of time, they will not bring up past events so they have a fresh start and rebuild their relationship.
Effective communication is critical when rebuilding relationships. Learning to express one's needs in a calm, open, and honest manner, while also listening and responding to the needs of others, can help rebuild trust, ease anxiety, and create more fulfilling relationships.
When attempting to rebuild relationships, it’s important to understand that the process takes time. Being patient and understanding with the other person during this time can be helpful. It may also be beneficial to try and empathise with their perspective and see things from their point of view.
Seeking professional help or support can be helpful in repairing relationships. This might involve talking to a relationship or gambling counsellor, who can help people develop new communication skills to repair their damaged relationships.
Steps you can take to rebuild your relationship
You can help to get your relationship back on track by setting specific goals and realistic timelines. Here are some steps that can help.
Recovery takes time and there may be setbacks and challenges along the way. It's important to remain positive and hopeful but also be realistic and acknowledge that lapses and even a return to previous levels of gambling can happen. You can set realistic expectations for recovery by educating yourself about gambling and recovery. It can help to try to understand how people pass through different stages as they try to change, as well as the likelihood of urges and relapse. See our information on Stages of Change, Understanding Urges and Managing Lapses and Relapse.
Trust is very important in any relationship, and it takes work to build. Communication, commitment, and honesty are important to rebuilding trust. Trust can be rebuilt over time by talking openly and honestly with each other, sticking to promises and working towards the same goals. As it can be hard to know how much control they have over their gambling, it’s important to encourage them to show they can be open and honest about money. You can set some ground rules about how they can rebuild trust through full disclosure and transparency about finances. Some people create a joint financial plan and stick to it together. Some people also make sure that both partners have access to their shared bank accounts so they can keep track of what’s happening. Over time, you can adjust your ground rules as necessary. It’s also important for you to look for things you can still trust them with.
It’s important to spend as much quality time together as you can. One way to do this is to find activities that you like to do together. This can give them something to look forward to and think about other than gambling. Take the time to have fun together, away from any talk about gambling.
It might feel challenging at first, but it can help to take some time to reconnect with their positive qualities. As you notice these again, your anger or frustration may start to ease, and you might find it easier to feel more hopeful.
It can be hard to build a positive and healthy relationship when you’re carrying anger or resentment. Taking time to recognise what’s happened in the past and shifting your focus to what can change in the future can support you both as you rebuild your relationship. Some people find it helpful to talk together about how to move forward. This might include agreeing on how to talk about past events, so they don’t keep coming up, giving you both a fresh start.
Effective communication is an important part of rebuilding relationships. Sharing your needs in a calm and honest way, while also listening to theirs, can help rebuild trust, ease stress and support a more positive relationship.
It takes time to rebuild a relationship. Being patient and understanding with the other person can make the process easier. It can also help to be empathetic and see things from their perspective.
Seeking professional support can be useful when repairing relationships. A relationship or gambling counsellor can help you build new communication skills and support you as you rebuild your relationship.
“I robbed my family of time spent gambling so I've been paying them back by spending much more valuable time with them”- Anonymous
What else can you do?
It is possible to rebuild a relationship that’s been damaged by gambling. Relationships can be strengthened when your family members and friends see you consistently taking positive and healthy steps to address the harm caused by your gambling. This may take a lot of time, hard work, and commitment. It’s important to have realistic expectations and not to rush things. Setting small goals and acknowledge any steps you take towards those goals can help to rebuild trust and repair relationships.
If you would like to talk to someone about relationship counselling, phone Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277.
A gambling counsellor can also help you repair relationships that have been damaged by gambling. Go to Seeking Support for a range of ways you can connect with a gambling counsellor.
Do you want more help?
For help with rebuilding your relationships, you can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members or friends.
What can you do?
As a family member or friend of someone who has been negatively affected by their gambling, it’s important to support them to rebuild their relationships that have been damaged by their gambling. Encouraging them to consistently take positive and healthy steps to address the harm caused by their gambling can strengthen their relationships with others. However, it’s important to emphasise to them that this process may take time, hard work and commitment. Remind them to have realistic expectations and not rush things. You can support them to set small goals and acknowledge any steps they take towards these goals.
You might also encourage your family member or friend to seek professional help and support. If they want to talk to someone about relationship counselling, they can phone Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277.
A gambling counsellor can also help them repair relationships that have been damaged by gambling. Encourage them to go to Seeking Support for a range of ways they can connect with a gambling counsellor.
Do you want more help?
For help with rebuilding their relationships, you or your family member or friend can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members or friends like you. It’s not only the person who gambles that can be affected, but the people close to them too. It’s important to take care of yourself when you’re supporting someone else. Check out the family and friends section in our peer support community to connect with people who understand.
What can you do?
If you are working with someone who wants to repair the relationships that have been harmed by their gambling, it’s important to have an open and non-judgmental discussion with them about their gambling and its impact on their relationships. Encourage them to take responsibility for their actions and to apologise for any harm caused to the people they care about. You may be in a position to help them to identify the specific ways in which their gambling has affected their relationships and support them to develop strategies to address these issues.
It’s also important to emphasise to the person you’re working with that repairing relationships takes time and commitment. Encourage them to be patient and have realistic expectations about the process. Help them to set small, achievable goals and to acknowledge any progress they make towards these goals. By working together, you can help them develop the skills and strategies they need to heal their relationships.
To achieve this, you might like to encourage them to seek professional help and support. If they want to talk to someone about relationship counselling, they can phone Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277.
A gambling counsellor can also help them repair relationships that have been damaged by gambling. Encourage them to go to Seeking Support for a range of ways they can connect with a gambling counsellor.
Do you want more help?
For help with rebuilding their relationships, you or the person you’re working with can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members, friends, and professionals like you. It can be hard for professionals to support people with gambling issues. To learn more about how you can help, go to our section on How Professionals Can Help.
It’s possible to rebuild your relationship together. It will take time, effort and commitment, so it’s important to have realistic expectations and not rush things. Setting small goals and noticing the steps you both take towards them can help you rebuild trust and strengthen your relationship.
If you would like to talk to someone about relationship counselling, phone Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277.
A gambling counsellor can also support you as you repair relationships that have been affected by gambling. Visit our Seeking Support page to see the different ways you can connect with a gambling counsellor.
Do you want more help?
If you’d like to know more about how to rebuild your relationship, you can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858. It’s free, available 24/7, and open to anyone affected by gambling harm.
