Do you want to manage your urges?
Having urges is a common experience when people are trying to change their gambling. These urges usually happen when people first starting trying to make changes to their gambling, but they can also happen later on during the recovery process.
It’s important to learn how to manage these urges because they can be a significant obstacle to maintaining any positive changes you may have made to your gambling. There are many different strategies you can try and it’s okay to seek help from other people when you need to. With time and practice, managing urges can become easier and any changes you’ve made to your gambling can become more sustainable over time.
Does your family member or friend want to manage their urges?
If a family member or friend has an issue with their gambling and is trying to make changes to their gambling, it’s common for them to experience urges to gamble. These urges usually happen when they first starting trying to make changes to their gambling, but they can also happen later on during the recovery process.
It’s important for your family member or friend to learn how to manage these urges because they can be a significant obstacle to maintaining any positive changes they may have made to their gambling. There are many different strategies they can try.
You can help to support your family member or friend in managing their urges and encourage them to seek help if they need to. With time and practice, they will find managing their urges becomes easier and any changes they’ve made to their gambling can become more sustainable.
Does someone want to manage their urges?
As a professional, it’s important to understand that experiencing urges is a common experience when someone is trying make changes to their gambling. These urges usually happen when they first starting trying to make changes to their gambling, but they can also happen later on during the recovery process.
Help the person you’re working with learn how to manage these urges because they can be a significant obstacle to maintaining any positive changes they may have made to their gambling. There are many different strategies they can try.
You can help to support them in managing their urges and encourage them to seek help if they need to. Emphasise that managing urges is a process that takes time and practice. With your guidance and support over time, they will find managing their urges becomes easier and any changes they’ve made to their gambling can become more sustainable.
What is an urge?
An urge is a strong feeling or impulse to gamble. Urges usually happen when we’re in situations that trigger our desire to gamble, but they can also feel like they come out of nowhere. Urges feel different for everyone, but they can involve thoughts, images, physical sensations, or emotions.
Urges can be incredibly strong and difficult to resist. We imagine they will only get worse, so we gamble to make them go away, but this only provides temporary relief. In fact, each time we give in to an urge, we make our urges stronger and last longer.
Urges can feel like they will never end, but they eventually pass. Our brains can’t hold onto an urge forever. If we wait long enough, the urge will go away on its own. It’s helpful to think of urges like waves in the ocean. They start small, build to their highest point, and then break and flow away. Urges will go away if we don’t act on them.
But waiting for an urge to pass can be tough. Instead of giving in to it and gambling to make the discomfort go away, we can respond to urges differently. We can train our brains to make it easier to ride out the urge without giving in to it. There are many strategies that can help us do this. It’s best to use these strategies before the urge feels like it is too strong to resist.
What are some ways to manage urges?
Delaying the decision to gamble, even for a minute or two at a time, by doing something else can help people keep their minds off gambling and wait for the urge to pass like a wave. Check out our self-help information on Urges and the 5Ds: Delay, Distract, Deep breathe, Decide, Discuss.
People can manage their urges by practicing urge surfing, which is like riding the waves of an ocean by using their breath. This involves staying aware and acknowledging the urge as it is, so they can ride it out without acting on it. To surf an urge:
- Focus on the area where they experience the urge
- Acknowledge how they experience the urge
- Release the tension as they release each deep breath, and
- Repeat, focusing on each part of their body that experiences the urge
See our self-help information on Urge Surfing.
A simple way for people to manage an urge is to focus on their breathing. Relaxation and mindfulness exercises can help them calm down and give them something to focus on. These exercises can be used anywhere and repeated until the urge goes away. Check out our self-help information on Finding Ways to Relax.
When someone has an urge to gamble, they may have unhelpful thoughts that can make the urge stronger and last longer. Urges often start at a low intensity, with thoughts that are not really about gambling but a high-risk situation, such as “It’s been such a long day, I need a break”. As the urge grows, their thoughts might turn to the possibility of gambling, such as “Maybe I could just pop in for a couple of minutes”. Then they start to justify it, with thoughts such as “I deserve it. I’ll only spend $50”. They may argue with themselves for a while before giving themselves permission to gamble “just this once”. People can stop the urge from getting stronger by identifying when they have these thoughts and changing them. They can remind themselves that urges pass eventually, think about the negative consequences of gambling, or the benefits of not gambling. It takes practice to do this, but it can be a very effective strategy. See our self-help information on Changing Thoughts and Beliefs.
When people have an urge to gamble, they often think about the positive consequences of gambling. However, this only makes the urge stronger and longer. Gambling may have some short-term benefits, but it also has many long-term negative consequences. To manage an urge, people can remind themselves of why they wanted to change and the negative consequences of giving into the urge, such as how they usually feel after they’ve gambled or any other consequences they might face. Even though it can be tough, reminding themselves that the long-term negative consequences outweigh the short-term benefits can help.
When people have an urge to gamble, they can remind themselves of the good things that will happen if they don't act on the urge. They can think about why they wanted to stop gambling and how their lives will improve if they do.
An excellent strategy is for people to carry a reminder card with them to read any time they have an urge. This could be printed out or put on their phones. Find out how to make one below.
Seeking support from friends, family members, or a professional can help people successfully manage their urges. They can provide a listening ear, offer encouragement, and suggest strategies to manage urges.
How to make an urge reminder card
This card should be personalised to each person’s situation and remind them of some steps they can take to stay safe.
These steps could include the following:
- Stop. Stop what you are doing. Acknowledge that you have an urge.
- Leave the situation. If possible, remove yourself from the situation for a while.
- Keep calm. Focus on your breathing or surf the urge until you feel calm.
- Distract yourself. Try to delay the decision to gamble by distracting yourself with an activity.
- Get your thinking straight. Stop the urge from getting stronger by identifying some helpful thoughts.
- Think about the consequences. Remind yourself about some of the negative consequences of acting on your urge to gamble.
- Remind yourself of the benefits. Remind yourself about some of the benefits of not acting on your urge to gamble.
- Ask for help if you need it. Chat with a gambling counsellor online or contact the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858. Alternatively, request assistance from a friend.
- Continue using these steps. Many people need to repeat urge management strategies a few times or do another activity before the urge passes.
- Congratulate yourself. It’s hard work riding through the discomfort of an urge. So make sure that you congratulate yourself when you’ve been successful at it.
Change takes practice
Practicing these strategies can be helpful in managing your urges to gamble. Try out different strategies and find the ones that work for you. With practice, these strategies can become easier to use and more effective over time.
Another important step is to limit your access to money if you’re struggling with urges to gamble – see more in Taking Control of Finances.
And remember, you don’t have to manage your urges to gamble alone. There is always someone you can talk to any time of the day or night, who can provide strategies to help you manage your urges. Reach out for help whenever you need it.
Do you want more help?
For help with managing your urges, you can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members or friends.
Change takes practice
Practicing these strategies can be helpful in managing your family member or friend’s urges to gamble. Encourage them to try out different strategies and find the one that works for them. With practice, they can become easier to use and more effective over time.
Another important step is to encourage them to limit their access to money if they’re struggling with urges to gamble – see more in Taking Control of Finances.
And remember, they don’t have to manage their urges to gamble alone. There is always someone they can talk to any time of the day or night, who can provide strategies to help them manage their urges. Encourage them to reach out for help whenever they need it, and reassure them that you’re there to support them as well.
Do you want more help?
For help with managing their urges, you or your family member or friend can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members or friends like you. It’s not only the person who gambles that can be affected, but the people close to them too. It’s important to take care of yourself when you’re supporting someone else. Check out the family and friends section in our peer support community to connect with people who understand.
Change takes practice
Practicing these strategies can be helpful in managing people’s urges to gamble. As a professional, you can encourage the person you’re working with to try out different strategies and find the one that works for them. With practice, they can become easier to use and more effective over time.
Another important step is to encourage them to limit their access to money if they’re struggling with urges to gamble – see more in Taking Control of Finances.
Finally, it’s important to inform them that they don’t have to manage their urges to gamble alone. There is always someone they can talk to any time of the day or night, who can provide strategies to help them manage their urges. Encourage them to reach out for help whenever they need it, and let them know that you’re there to support them as well.
Do you want more help?
For help with managing their urges, you or the person you’re working with can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members, friends, and professionals like you. It can be hard for professionals to support people with gambling issues. To learn more about how you can help, go to our section on How Professionals Can Help.
