Article managing urges 0
Series: Managing urges

Urges and the 5Ds: Delay, distract, deep breathe, decide, discuss

4 min read

This article is being personalised for someone supporting someone else with a lived experience of gambling. If that is not you, can always change the audience type below:

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Of my own gambling I am supporting others I am a professional

Do you need help managing your urges?

You can use a technique called the 5Ds to help you manage your urges. The 5Ds - Delay, Distract, Deep breathe, Decide, Discuss – is a tool that can help you wait until an urge subsides, like a wave that eventually breaks and subsides. You can use this technique every time you feel the urge to gamble.

Urges can feel like they will never end, but they eventually pass. The brain can’t hold onto an urge forever. If people wait long enough, the urge will go away on its own. But waiting for an urge to pass can be tough. Instead of giving in to it and gambling to make the discomfort go away, people can train their brains to make it easier to ride out the urge without giving in to it.

The more you practice the 5Ds, the more comfortable you will become in accepting your urges without feeling the need to act on them. Being able to manage your urges in this way can have a significant impact on your gambling.

Does your family member or friend need help managing their urges?

If you have a family member or friend who experiences gambling harm, you could encourage them to use the 5Ds technique to help them manage their urges.

The 5Ds - Delay, Distract, Deep breathe, Decide, Discuss – is a tool that can help them wait until an urge subsides, like a wave that eventually breaks and subsides. They can use this technique every time they feel the urge to gamble.

Urges can feel like they will never end, but they eventually pass. The brain can’t hold onto an urge forever. If people wait long enough, the urge will go away on its own. But waiting for an urge to pass can be tough. Instead of giving in to it and gambling to make the discomfort go away, people can train their brains to make it easier to ride out the urge without giving in to it.

You can encourage your family member or friend to practice the 5Ds technique regularly. The more they practice this technique, the more comfortable they will become in accepting their urges without feeling the need to act on them. Being able to manage urges in this way can have a significant impact on their gambling.

Does someone need help managing their urges?

If you’re working with someone who experiences gambling harm, you could encourage them to use the 5Ds technique to help them manage their urges.

The 5Ds - Delay, Distract, Deep breathe, Decide, Discuss – is a tool that can help them wait until the urge subsides, like a wave that eventually breaks and subsides. They can use this technique every time they feel the urge to gamble.

In your professional role, it’s important to understand that urges can feel like they will never end, but they eventually pass. The brain can’t hold onto an urge forever. If people wait long enough, the urge will go away on its own. But waiting for an urge to pass can be tough. Instead of giving in to it and gambling to make the discomfort go away, people can train their brains to make it easier to ride out the urge without giving in to it.

You can encourage the person you’re working with to practice the 5Ds technique regularly. The more they practice this technique, the more comfortable they will become in accepting their urges without feeling the need to act on them. Being able to manage their urges in this way can have a significant impact on their gambling.

What are the 5Ds?

DELAY…

Putting off the decision to gamble, even for a minute or two at a time, can help the urge to pass.

We can start by delaying gambling for just a couple of minutes. Although this might be difficult initially, the more we practice ‘sitting’ with the discomfort of an urge, the easier it will become over time.

We can try setting a goal for how long we can wait each time before making a decision. This could be a minute or two or even longer if we feel we can handle it.

DISTRACT…

Doing something else can help keep our minds off gambling and distract ourselves while we wait for the urge to pass. We can pick something that takes all of our attention and is simple to do. Doing something physical can also help us use the energy from the urge.

Even counting back from 300 can help.

“It sounds really simple and probably a bit unlikely…. But it really worked… It’s surprising.” - Anonymous

Let’s brainstorm some ideas of what we could do and how long we want to do it for. It’s important to find something that suits our interests and needs.

Need some help? Take a look at this list of ideas.

  • Stand up and stretch
  • Get a cup of tea or coffee
  • Listen to music
  • Play a game on the phone
  • Go for a walk
  • Do a jigsaw, draw, or take some photos
  • Do some gardening
  • Watch TV or stream a favourite show
  • Cook something
  • Read a book
  • Play with a pet
  • Visit or phone a friend or a family member
  • Do yoga or meditation
  • Take a bath
  • Research a subject on the web
  • Write down feelings in a diary
  • Exercise
  • Buy coffee from a local café

There are more ideas in our self-help activity Keeping Busy.

DEEP BREATHE…

A simple breathing exercise can help us to stay calm and focused. We can take a slow, deep breath in through the nose, starting from the belly and expanding through the ribs, chest, and lungs. Then we can breathe out slowly through the mouth.

We can then put our hand on our belly and feel it expand as we inhale and contract as we exhale. We can count as we breathe, starting with a count of four as we inhale and a count of four as we exhale. We can adjust the count to what feels comfortable for us.

See some other breathing exercises in Finding Ways to Relax.

DECIDE…

We can then decide how we want to proceed after our set delay time is over. We can help ourselves to make a positive decision by reminding ourselves of the:

  • advantages of not gambling
  • disadvantages of gambling
  • reasons we want to stop or cut back
  • life goals that gambling interferes with

For more help with this see our self-help information on The Benefits of Change.

DISCUSS…

When we have an urge to gamble, it can be helpful to seek support. This can help us to refocus our goals, delay the decision to gamble and keep our minds off the urge. There’s always someone available to talk to, no matter the time of day. This could be a family member or friend, a peer in the Forums or a professional online or at the Gambling Helpline (1800 858 858). Seeking support is a great way to manage the urge to gamble and make progress towards our goals. Don’t hesitate to reach out. 

Take a look at our information in Seeking Support.

Do you want more help?

For more information about managing your urges, see our information on Understanding Urges. You could also try to surf your urges instead – see our self-help activity on Urge Surfing.

For more help with managing your urges, you can also start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members or friends.

Do you want more help?

For more information about managing urges, see our information on Understanding Urges. Your family member or friend could also try to surf their urges instead – see our self-help activity on Urge Surfing.

For more help with managing their urges, you or your family member or friend can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members or friends like you. It’s not only the person who gambles that can be affected, but the people close to them too. It’s important to take care of yourself when you’re supporting someone else. Check out the family and friends section in our peer support community to connect with people who understand.

Do you want more help?

For more information about managing urges, see our information on Understanding Urges. The person you’re working with could also try to surf their urges instead – see our self-help activity on Urge Surfing.

For more help with managing their urges, you or the person you’re working with can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members, friends, and professionals like you. It can be hard for professionals to support people with gambling issues. To learn more about how you can help, go to our section on How Professionals Can Help.

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